I guess the summer nights make one think a lot.

As my desktop purrs ever so steadily and with everybody fast asleep, I find myself overwhelmed suddenly by the serenity of it all. I am disconnected from the world and so many things hit me I have to pen this down.

After all, it's not everyday you feel philosophical.

Over said, over heard. How do you define a true friend? How can you be sure they are true friends?

I've never really thought hard about this issue so I'm going to force myself to think right here, right now.

Since friendship is all about the connection between humans, I should think it is only natural for 'true' friendship to be mutual.

So, 2 criteria then.

1) You think of him/her as a true friend.
2) He/she thinks of you as a true friend. (Also the one most people take for granted)

1) You

I guess the former is the easiest to judge and it really is all about who do you really think of first when you are bored and thinking about the good old times. Who do you want celebrating your major milestones in life with? Who do you feel most comfortable confiding in? You need to ask of a huge-ass favor, who do you think of first?

Of course there is the issue of having so many friends (esp in uni) it becomes practically impossible to filter. It's so easy to lose track and get lost, trying to fit in or replace friends that you no longer see every other day, week or even month.

Humans need to adapt, we need to adapt. Our surroundings change naturally as we split paths to pursue our individual dreams. We thus, come into contact with other people. Humans need to interact, otherwise, they die. It's what you call, the human connection. As a result, you try to fit in. You change yourself, the way you speak, the way you live and soon you get so caught up in it the winds of time erode the track you once trod and you forget about secondary school, you forget about jc... Quite sad.

So what we need to do is to realize time not only makes us older, time also erodes. Time erodes our memories. Memories like grabbing a plastic bottle to play soccer during recess and getting screwed by the teacher upon returning to class yet managing a cheeky grin at your fellow comrades. Memories like going to the band room everyday to perfect/hone your part and more importantly, because you like the people there. Memories like playing a computer game and liking it because you love the idea of the few of you against the world.

Yes, new memories are created every day. Memories like knowing you are only a bit-part player yet feeling like you scored 4.3 when your teammate scores a goal. Memories like complaining how the project was absolutely screwed up and how late it already is together with friends knowing you are just glad to have them in your group.

Here, I guess being proactive is the way to go. It's what you can and should do if you really treasure a friendship. After all, we have always had to fight to get what we want.


2) Him/Her

But of course, the feeling should be mutual. So how can you tell if someone values you as strongly as you to him/her? Sometimes, I guess that's the beauty of it all, you just know it.

That's the perfect story. However, what if you are wrong? ie You really treat him/her as a valued friend and you realize that the gut feeling that served you so well all along may be wrong.

That has to be one of the most screwed-up feelings in the world. Putting in effort and knowing you're never ever going to break into this social circle. Investing so much time and effort knowing you probably did those in vain.

Being proactive here will serve absolutely no use. Move on? I only have 2 more years left. Is there enough time?

So what do you do now? I really have no idea. Someone tell me? Or I guess I'll return to sucking my thumb.

9:05 am;

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While watching a certain video last night (http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=455621345922), something struck me cold.

I am no longer 'young', I am no longer on the side of the divide where I can get away from everything with a smile or sorry. I can no longer say that I am young and innocent. I can no longer blame anybody for anything that happens. I can no longer throw my burdens onto my parents when I can no longer handle them.

As the whistle is about to blow on the most awesome 4 months of forever, I guess I need to really take a moment to think. just. think.

I guess one's friends only ever increase as time passes. Or does it? As we continue our individual paths to 'success in life' (whatever that may mean), it's inevitable we meet more like-minded people and friends in the process. But do we actually bother to catch up with our friends from years before? Or are we complacent enough to think the ties of friendship will never weaken? How many times have we met up with old classmates and after that night, realise how much you don't know about them anymore and try as we might, know that that period of yesteryear was as close as we could ever have gotten to telepathic?


Time not only heals, time destroys.

Another fundamental problem of society is the prevalent mentality of fitting in. Especially in schools. As circumstances craft us all into social butterflies (it does), we get so caught up in it all that sometimes, I think we all forget to be ourselves.

To be cool, we try to blend in. We try to change ourselves. I am guilty of that myself. And it usually isn't till we really reflect that we realise that we aren't actually happy. Stereotypes really are rampant in this world we live in. We try every means possible to avoid being a 'gamer', 'nerd', 'geek', 'zhai nan'. So we smoke, we drink, we club, we try to be modern ghost-busters by busting boomers and smokers. We try to fit in.

People are really vulnerable. Nobody feels secure.

We need a cauldron of varying personalities. The world cannot do with just cool people. We need geeks, we need bastards, we need bitches. We need change, we need provocation, we need to be different. We need to have an unique identity. And that's why we should just be our damn selves.

Standing out isn't wrong. Conformity is.

Have you ever realised that when friends say you have changed, it is because you have stopped living your life THEIR way?

To change or to conform?

3:10 am;

________________________________

You, my friend
Were one of a kind.
So jolly a man,
Even when people did you wrong, you said never mind.

You made befriending people seem like an effortless task,
Suddenly, approaching and saying hello didn't seem like such a big ask.

I remember your pranks, jokes and infectious laughter,
So affable that you charmed even the fiercest teacher.

Everywhere you went, you lit up the place.
In lectures you saved others who were always in a daze.

Though you bragged a lot about your footballing ability
The truth is your outstanding quality was your immense humility.

Your energy always made the class bounce,
So much so when it came to enthusiasm, we always trounced.

'Weeeh~'was an expression I eventually grew to love
Up till now, it remains in my brain's treasure trove.

Now all I want to do
Is to tell you again.
From the bottom of my heart,
You will always be the happy, awesome guy everyone loved, my dear dear friend.

9:32 am;

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MFE used to be a foreign and neutral acronym.


Ministry for Environment? Check!





Mail for Exchange? Check!






Master of Financial Economics? Check!






But it could also damn well stand for Intermediate Maths for Econs.






Boy is it far from neutral now.


MFE before today : Not soooo bad.

MFE after today : Major Fatal Exam. (This is already being extremely well-mannered already. There's another one that's much more obvious and explicit. You guys can figure it out! Or you can request for clues.)



This must be the best image on the web at the moment. Trust google images to come up with the perfect image.

5:15 am;

________________________________

On the 25th of Dec, we exchange holiday experiences.

In the month of Nov, we exchange information during bidding.

On the 25th of Dec, we chat about the upcoming Boxing Day fixtures in the BPL.

In the month of Nov, we chat about the upcoming exam schedules.

On the 25th of Dec, we sing songs about giving, joy and Santa Claus.

In the month of Nov, we sing songs about professors, fallacies and the auntie at Subway.

On the 25th of Dec, power sockets are used to power christmas trees and chocolate fondue fountains.

In the month of Nov, power sockets are used to power laptops, ipods and handphones.

On the 25th of Dec, we talk about how the past year has been wonderful.

In the month of Nov, we talk about how the past night's 3 hours of sleep was wonderful.

On the 25th of Dec, we exchange well-wishes, blessings and gifts.

In the month of Nov, we exchange grievances, readings and shitz.

On the 25th of Dec, we hang glittery balls onto christmas trees.

In the month of Nov, we hang ourselves in group study rooms.


Last but not least,

On the 25th of Dec, SS stands for Super Santa.

In the month of Nov, SS stands for...................







Santa, save us. Christmas cannot come sooner.



Yours Sincerely
Gareth aka Jlo aka Jun Long


p.s. I admit I haven't started mugging intensively yet but I promise you I will soon. While wild boars in Tekong charge before thinking, I charge my batteries before mugging.

Labels: awesome, christmas, school, weeeh

9:11 am;

________________________________

You know why it sucks to lose big matches? Because you have to endure the ribbing and worst of all, I don't even dare to read the newspapers for a couple of days after we've lost.

Newspapers LOVE to whack us whenever we lose. It's as if all the journalists in the world are jealous Liverpool fans. Incredible! I remember the Burnley match. Headlines after the loss read "United in Crisis" "Come back, Ronny" "United Blake-d"

Argh.. And when Liverpool or Chelsea lose?
"Aquilani's will win us the league" (NOT!)
"XXX set to face the wrath of the wounded beasts"
"Returning King (Joe) Cole will lift the gloom"

What happened to the witty headlines you guys could have come up with?
"Dont bother calling 999, the Kop is down!"
"Benitez Agger-vated!"
"Ess-sian!"
"Fergie: 'Cech-mate!'"

But anyway, on to my main point.

Sadly, the liverpool match confirmed what I've feared all along. Despite the wealth of midfield players we have at our disposal, none of them can carry a team like Stevie G or Lampard can.



Michael Carrick?

Benayoun could have been slurping a bowl of laksa and still zipped past him.



Scholes?

He's now so slow that even Titus Bramble can out-sprint him. See-rye-ears!!!



Anderson?

He needs to stop thinking he's Scholes by pinging cross-field passes all the time. Shoot more! Even Evra shoots more than you.



Hargreaves?

A flower vase. So fragile he's perma-crocked. Hopefully his extended holidays have changed that!




Get well soon Fletcher! We need you back.

8:21 am;

________________________________

What's up with Singaporeans?

Firstly, to the dude who sports a mat cap and squints out at the corner of your eye while plonking yourself onto the seat and pretending to sleep, WAKE UP. Blind as a bat, fat as a cat, whatever. I am no noble soul but if I see an old lady's hand trembling just from holding onto the pole, i'd give up my seat without a second thought.

Just because you have two foreign objects stuck in your larger-than-an-elephant ear doesn't give you the right to PRETEND not to hear calls for you to give up your seat. Then again, I hope your earpiece's so dirty (it probably is given your laziness) you get millions of zits and pimples on your ears. Talk about funky ear accessories.



Secondly, to the missys and misters who 'politely' tilt your bodies to allow other and enjoy being grinded upon, provided the feeling's mutual, then by all means go ahead. Otherwise, freaking step out of the train before re-entering. Want to 'bua' go club, please thanks!

And indeed, I chanced upon a certain post and it evoked really poignant emotions. Memories of yesteryear suddenly came flooding back.

Memories of scrambling for the ball on the beach volleyball court, memories of digging up hot sand furiously so that I could seek the cool of the bottom earth , memories of going all out and breaking layers after layers of energy dissapating pads (HAHA), memories of heaving huge tar-po-lines across giant monsters, memories of digging into tupperwares after tupperwares of mongolian lamb, memories of snacking on nestle ice-cream just across the carpark lot, memories of chasing after emus and kangaroos......

And most importantly, memories of our final hurrah.








Be Sure Always!

11:56 pm;

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Ladies



Gentleman



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