i feel as useless as a snail right now. jus creeping slowly alon the road, hopin to see the sun. but, i jus noe i am goin to get squashed by some car, or even a bird. my dad's in the hospital yet all i cld do dere was to fake smiling and jus turnin back my head to cry? come on loser.. it pained me like crazy to see those foreign objects in my father.. the needles, the drip bag, another bag which contained blood.. why the hell does this shit happen man. seriously. worse of all, next, dad grabs me aside and tries to crack jokes to lighten the mood but all he does is make me feel worse. i saw his wounds, he told me the nurse poke wrongly.. the other hand, also the same reason. what BLOODY loser hospital has novice nurses goin arnd insertin needles into wrong veins! relatives came thronging in.. grps by grps.. all the while i forced myself to look strong and alright. but as time passed it jus got worse and worse.. argh.. the more i stood there, the more i realised how painful my dad must have been feeling.. the needles, even sitting up had him breathless and in pain.. i realli wan to curse and swear and blame the bloody world but would it change a thing? no! what can i do now? sit, stare, wait, pray.. come on man.. i feel like a bloody pathetic worm.. is this all i can do for someone who has slogged his guts out to provide and care for me?!! its so freakin unfair.. my mum.. i noe she is super super sad now.. she wept thinkin nobodi cld see her but i cld.. in front of me and my siblings, she puts up such a strong front, den behind us, she cries. why am i such a useless son man.. whatever the case, i pray my dad recovers asap. please give me energy to tide over this period of time.

I'd give anything for my dad to recover now so God, if u're anywhere out there, please bless or cure my dad. he means absolutely everithing to me together with my family. please please please...

Love you, dad.

5:53 am;

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